Identity Fraud
My book club book was “The Leavers” by Lisa Ko, which followed the life of a boy named Deming. Deming is a Chinese American immigrant whose mother was deported early in the book. Although his mother’s absence isn’t necessarily intentional, Deming grows up feeling he must constantly work for others’ approval. He becomes unfamiliar with unconditional love, which is replaced with this sense of needing to earn his place with others to be accepted. Although Deming’s oddly specific situation served as a catalyst for most of these depressive feelings, his struggle to belong is relatable. Belonging can feel like a warm welcome or a heavyweight. Depending on where we’re trying to fit in, it can either be comforting or a burden/strain on our own character. The latter is what I see with Deming where he tries to contort himself to fit in groups that may not fully accept him. I feel as though this theme is present beyond even the novel. People are often trying to find what is ...